I have been back from Raleigh, NC for 2 days and I feel like I am in limbo. Out of place, not sure exactly where I am, where I am going or where I am supposed to be. Do you have that feeling? Kind of wandering. I walked around today thinking about wanting to feel a sense of belonging, to have roots, be known, to host dinners and have people come.
I thought about this longing that wells up deep within as I poured coffee and asked 100 + people today and every day “How are you?” to which they respond “well” or “good”. Each face that crosses mine with a glance and a shared smile and an exchange of pleasantries I wonder, what is it that you do when you get home from work? Dinner, laughing, gym? What is it that I do?
My mind went to two things, food and God. Not in that order, but I did think.. what can I make to eat that will help me to feel as if I have belonging, something that is stable, secure and deep. I immediately thought Lasagna. One, because it is Italian and makes me think of the mafia and large family gatherings but also lasagna is a secure and comforting food that that has layers, makes a ton and is often better the next day. I too think that friendship is excellent at the first taste, but is better with age. After it has had time to chill and let all of it’s flavors absorb into one.
Lasagna seems like the perfect non-limbo food and more like a settled down food. So I am going to make one and I would love to invite you all to dinner. You all could come and have a bite of lasagna and begin to taste the comforting layers of friendship that only gets better with age..
I am feeling more attached already.