On Saturday I was sitting in a cafe’ staring out the window with a million thoughts running through my mind. All I can compare it to is the way a forest appears. Tall trees that intertwine, with tiny twinges of light peeking in. I pass a forest like this while I am running. As I pass, I want to say, “yeah, I feel like that too”. “Jumbled at times”. “So much going on in such a tiny space. you want to talk” ?
Then I realize..forest Kristin, you need to breathe more, not enough O2 on the jog, so I slow down and that is when I begin to cry out. I spill over, the jumble, the jenga, the gibber, the jots, the jolts, ( I am on a J word roll ) and then I breathe. Am I doing this? I think I am.
breathe.
breathe.
Do you hear me?
breathe.
breathe.
See. I need you. I need you to provide, I need you to show up and carry me and if you don’t show up this isn’t going to happen.
breathe.
breathe.
I am alone without you and I live in a really big state.
breathe.
breathe.
..as I was remembering, reflecting and feeling the weight of the state of my thoughts on Saturday, the most beautiful picture was given to me. Two, tiny little birds flew onto the table in front of me. They were hopping around and what looked to be like birdie chatting (I am not sure that they were for real doing this..but they looked happy and chatty) I looked at these birds and God whispered deep into my heart wiping away the tears that were slowly rolling down my face.
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered, Fear not, you are of more value than many sparrows” Luke 12:6.
breathe. I have not forgotten you, you are of more value than those little happy, chatty birds. I know. I know all things and I know you and I know what is best for you.
breathe. smile.
I am getting into my car, put the key in the ignition, press the clutch in, turn the knob on the radio and the chorus to this song by The Pretenders, “Brass Pocket” was playing
“There’s nobody else here, no one like me- I’m special, so special, gotta have some of your attention, give it to me!”
It was like my very own serenade. God has me. He keeps telling me over and over again.
I drove off smiling, less jumbled, and believing God’s love and care for me.
Dana Haynes - This photo says, “Hope.” Thank you for sharing all of it…words and art.
Robin Long - I installed a new browser, and here I am…can read your blog without it taking 20 minutes to load, and I can say here how wonderful you are as a photographer, and writer. You blow my mind, and you ARE my DAUGHTER! I love you.
sam - love this sweet woman.